I was driving around 465 today and noticed a pickup in the lane to my left. It was a Dodge Ram, pretty decent-looking truck, with a big Harley Davidson decal in the rear window. I also noticed that it was equipped with those extended rearview mirrors, the kind that allow you to keep a clear line of sight when you're hauling a trailer. As I continued to check out the truck, I saw that it also had a Scream mask in the back window. Furthermore, it had a vanity plate, the text of which I couldn't make out at first. After a couple of miles, we both took the same exit and the decreased speed allowed me to get close enough to make out additional details. My initial instinct was that the owner of the truck was very possibly pretty BA; I mean, he's got a Harley and is used to hauling around a big trailer, has a vanity plate. But the details our proximity revealed in rapid succession quickly turned my opinion of the owner. First, I saw that the plate read "UNDRTKR," which I took to mean that the cat was either a death-head, a fan of the WWE, or was maybe actually versed in the funerial arts. I think I can say with some degree of certainty that he's neither the former nor the latter. I next saw a rubber hand and a foot protruding from either lower side of the tailgate. And upon getting a brief look at the driver as I pulled alongside, I got a strong visual whiff of hilljack. Jerk alert! Seriously, bro, you have rubber appendages protruding from your effing tailgate. Clay Aiken and Ricky Martin have just tweeted that they think that is gay.
Under normal circumstances, I might fear that a man who cares so little about his vehicular adornments would also care little about throwing the beatdown my way. But since only one other person will probably ever read this, and because ol' boy might not even be able to read (it's also unlikely that he's got access to modern technology like the internet), I'm not rull scurred.
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